You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
