Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
