in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
