I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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