sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
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