I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
