Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
