we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
