I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
