Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
