It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
