she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
