Barsexuality is the new black.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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