my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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