i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
