whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
false alarm, still single
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
