I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
