ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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