my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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