You can't motorboat a personality
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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