STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Randomize
