At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
