she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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