A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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