They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
