Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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