I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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