I think i sorta joined a cult last night
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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