I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
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