It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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