my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
