Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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