All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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