so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
