Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
