Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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