If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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