That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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