Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
