Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
