i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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