Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize