She's JV to your varsity
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
