You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
