did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Randomize
