i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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