I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
