Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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