Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
