Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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