There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
