drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
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