I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
