Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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