Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
