Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
