This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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