You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
