Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
